Before the last few weeks I can’t say I have ever spent 16 straight days not going outside, let alone the same building. Now I can say I have spent 16-days not leaving a hotel room (exception: we went to a different room twice to get COVID tests).
Our 16-days of mandated quarantine came to a close last week. I must say, a tiny part of me wished we had a few more days (don’t tell Eirenee’ this). There was definitely something comforting in the rhythms we established. Eliminating a lot of variables to normal living (finding food, work, travel, etc) actually did wonders for focusing my mind at times. At other times it made me want to jump through our screwed shut windows (seriously, they were screwed shut…).
I am not sure I will have the fortune of experiencing three quarantines like my brother (you deserve a medal, Travis) so I decided to record some takeaways from our time and from my perspective (Ross).
1. Two are always better than one
I cannot imagine living 16-days in a room by myself! I am becoming more and more convinced that I have been living in denial of my extroversion… Personality aside, I can’t imagine not being able to enjoy this time with my best friend and the love of my life. I found myself constantly reminded of what a gift Eirenee’ is to me. We have been so blessed to spend A LOT of solo time together during 2020. We worked together from home from March to August. We drove around the country from September to November. These last 16-days have been icing on the cake! Two are always better than one and Eirenee’ is better than all!
2. Two always takes more work than one
I have a crazy tendency to get in a rhythm and go on autopilot. Planes get put on autopilot, relationships don’t. I am not sure why this concept is so hard for me to understand sometimes. Perhaps it is my selfishness or desire for efficiency or both and everything in between. There is not room for either in a relationship (let alone marriage). Someday I hope to see significant growth in my natural inclinations, until then I will continue striving. Each day comes with new mercies! Thank God relationships take work and time and energy and focus. I deeply need all of these things to draw my attention both away from myself, onto others, and ultimately up to God. I am so thankful two always takes more work than one.
3. Being is always harder than doing
I am a doer. Give me a task to complete, a challenge to tackle, or a person to help and I am off to the races. Sitting down and meditating on God’s word or spending time in prayer is hard for me. I used to think it was my environment that made it hard for me to be still with God. I have learned it’s just me. Perhaps this is comforting…I don’t know…Even in quarantine I fought to be still with God even when there was nowhere to go. This has given me new rest in being uncomfortable at times in the stillness. There is no “grass greener on the other side.” I have seen the grass. It’s the same color everywhere. My heart, mind, and body need stillness and to just be everyday. Being is always harder than doing but I will continue to pursue it.
4. The magic of Christmas is like an onion
Christmas is a magical time to me. Always has been. Christmas traditions, snowy mornings, the spirit of giving, and family are just a few magical elements. Nostalgia is also a spiritual gift of mine which accentuates the magic. One of my favorite traditions as a child was singing happy birthday to Jesus on Christmas Eve. This set the tone for Christmas day during my childhood and helped me to see Jesus always as our greatest gift to celebrate and give thanks for. As an adult I see with even clearer eyes and a heart that craves to worship Jesus the entire Christmas season! Still, with all the magical elements of Christmas it’s a fight to keep my eyes focused on Jesus and the true “magic” of the season. Fast forward to this year…spending 16-days in a hotel leading up to and during Christmas does a pretty good job sanitizing a lot of those magical elements. It was definitely hard at times. Praise God for hardship! It really challenged me to peel back each magical layer of Christmas and rest in the source of our joy and thanksgiving. God was born as a little baby boy forever changing the world. As the angels proclaimed on his birth, “Glory to God in the highest and peace on earth to those whom God is pleased!” The magic of Christmas is like an onion and Jesus belongs both at the center and in every layer.
5. Completing a task gives me purpose
I am one of those weirdos who finds joy in checking off his to-do list. Sometimes I even write things down after I have completed them just to make a check mark. Yes. This is me. During quarantine I layed out tasks of different sizes. These tasks were grouped under specific themes and focus areas. At times the more time intensive tasks began to bog me down. Stepping away, changing my focus, or even completing a smaller task created leverage to get moving again. This forward momentum brought a purpose to my days. It was focused through prior planning and worked towards achieving unified goals. All good things for me to remember. Completing prioritized, focused tasks gives the greatest purpose.
6. Having purpose is fulfilling
I found myself at one point thinking, “this quarantine is going kind of fast…I still have more I want to accomplish.” Sounds funny to think I would want to stay in that place any longer than needed. However, it reminded me that fulfillment isn’t found in a place as much as it is in a space I create. As aforementioned, I was able to create a space where I felt very purposeful. This brought fulfillment even when I wasn’t necessarily in a setting that I enjoyed. There were no mountains or lakes or rivers or oceans to enjoy. This is a great reminder for whatever the future holds. I would love to live where the air is thin, surrounded on all sides by vistas and peaks. However, not my will but His. Having a purpose that is gospel-centered is true fulfillment.
7. Fulfillment is slippery
I spent some time reflecting on the essence of fulfillment. What is fulfillment? How is it achieved? What is a gospel-centered view of fulfillment? I know that for me there are practical things that feel fulfilling. Purpose driven service and stewardship and teamwork are a few things on my list. Purpose driven to what ends though? The betterment of humanity? My own desire for accomplishment? My need to feel significant? None of these things are worthy pursuits but tempting none-the-less. Meeting felt needs is an honorable and an important service but in itself falls short. Fulfillment can only be found in Jesus Christ. Working, living, and doing all things to His glory alone is the only solid footing to stand on. His glory is for others good. His glory is for my good. Fulfillment is slippery when standing on anything else than the finished work of Jesus.
I am leaving this time grateful for so many little things that I can take for granted. I am also leaving with a reassurance in God’s faithfulness to meet Eirenee’ and I right where we are at. I sort of figured we would thrive as a family traveling and exploring the U.S. during the fall. I wasn’t so sure how quarantine time would go. Would we thrive or just try to survive?…and don’t get me wrong…there were moments of surviving. We may be half-way around the world and removed from a lot of the things that give us life, but God hasn’t changed. I don’t know what or where God may call us in the future. I do know that He will be with us in any clime and any place.